Gogs Likes to Vent

Yeah, so the party is back on, Margaux's tactical approach actually worked with Poni - so that's good, now I don't have to regret a depressive seventeenth. I also picked up a really nice singlet for it today at Grab that was discounted - so keen for the whole trailer trash theme :} ... just wish I had awesome DOCS LIKE MARGAUX DOES! But that's alright, cause Im getting that red dress tomorrow, and think Renee might come along. I LOVE COREY - HE'S BRINGING HIS AWESOME STEREO AND IS A LIFESAVER. Baking lava cakes in the morning with him Kristy and Margaux should make for awesome fun and I cannot wait.
Played singstar at a cockfest party in Mt Albert last night, drinking wine and steiny pure, then making an abrupt ninja exit with Anya Margaux and Christeye to Campilicious' house, where my "stealth" skills got us caught by his dad who wasn't very impressed. We then taxi'd and watched Bridget Jones' Diary and the second one up until "I don't want you to see my wobbly bits" "Im rather inclined to your wobbly bits" (Colin Firth makes me swoon for he is Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice) . Also destroyed my non-eating weekend out of upsetedness. And now am no longer as upset as I was previously. Especially seeing as a very wordly and interesting French-Brazilian Painter told me my painting was beautiful. The whole fact that he was French-Brazilian reminded me of Elysium, as Sebastian's mother is French-Brazilian in it.
Yet again, home alone and wasting away to the music I indulge in. Wow, actually have not heard this song in a long time... and I am very keen to get a canvas and oil paints, but... I will be much poor after tomorrow.

Seventeen on Saturday. Sigh. One more year guys.

Honestly I want to die
I don't deserve I'm just a disappointment
And it is my fault

Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush

and even the Placebo version.

I don't know what it is about that song, but the lyrics get to me so much. I reference the song a lot in Elysium because of my love for it being so great.

They keep cutting me up
And not only is it not fair, it's just ridiculous
I know I'm going to move on, because it's what I do
But you?
You might have moved on to the degree that you don't remember my face
And I know you don't feel bad about any of this -
Because you don't have the maturity to own up to it -
But it's not going to stop how you will ruin you

And I was sad over it
And I was sad over you
I don't dread the day I see you again
Because I see much better now
That I was too good for you
That I was all the complexities that haunted you
And you couldn't handle it
And that's not my fault

I made a hot superhero last night
& I admitted to Margaux my secret crush/inkling towards a member of the opposite sex...

And I keep getting teased because its "adorable" but it isnt - its wrong!

Hot stomachs and killer thigh high boots,
cover me in suede and move me in every way
You can call me a ghost
My shell an ivory playground
and my protection these lovely eyes
I'm here purely for your enjoyment
Don't act surprised


Superhero party on Saturday. Photography exams are so draining and boring. As are arguments with mothers. I think my sting has more poison in it than hers. I'M SO GROOVE.

Destroyed these tights, I'm just another tragedy almost in flames

I may change my name, for artistic purposes;

Taylor Lee Rose

All seeing stranger hasn't even met you...

... And she already knows who you are.

Does it sound familiar baby?

Like when I panic attack struck you?

It felt right, but thinking on it now, it was far too wrong

Because of what you did to me

And I've signalled you warnings

Left you messages

Told you of hearts

And I wanted you to heed them, but you're not going to, are you?

You're going to slip away, and it's a shame.

It makes me sad

But I didn't fail you...

You failed yourself.

I would lose my soul, the way that I do

Why am I still wearing the seven inch heels?
I need some water
I love Nirvana

I feel old, but not very wise

Many a hand has scaled the grand old face of the plateau
Some belonged to strangers, some to folks you know
Holy ghosts and talk show hosts are planted in the sand
To beautify the foothills, and shake the many hands

Nothing on the top but a bucket and a mop
And an illustrated book about birds
See a lot up there but don't be scared
Who needs action when you got words

Finished with the mop then you can stop
And look at what you've done
The plateau's clean, no dirt to be seen
And the work it was fun

Nothing on the top but a bucket and a mop
And an illustrated book about birds
See a lot up there but don't be scared
Who needs action when you (got) words

Many a hands began to scan around for the next plateau
Some say it was Greenland, and some say Mexico
Others decided it was nowhere except for where they stood
But those were all just guesses, wouldn't help you if they could

I said something really stupid
Because I was trying to believe it
But it's not true
About an inch from dragging the Bombay Sapphire out of the freezer
Alcohol Poisoning or not.

WORST EXAM OF MY LIFE, GEOGRAPHY.


EASIEST EXAM I'VE EVER SAT, LITERATURE PAPER 4.

All the more reason to move there I say

    Oracle card reading today at Margaux's...
Three big questions I had on the cards:
University, Love & Writing.
    I tend to get a lot of jumping cards; they just leap out to me. Which means a strong message I reckon.
They were eye openers, and all incredibly relevant.

   I would be living in a Parnell townhouse with Margaux, and would be able to have the money to sustain it comfortably.

Aching head ache,
had a breakdown last night - I don't think I've cried so much in a looooong time...
It was part because of a Lana thing. I don't know why she is a friend that upsets me to the extent - or more - than Seb used to in the beginning.
Perhaps it was because it reminded me of when she made me choose between them, and I chose her, and she still didn't want anything to do with me. That was this time last year. In fact, that was exactly a year ago in a few days time.
 We had a huge fight for three months, neverending, me trying to sort things out, she ignoring me blatantly; causing a rift between her Mishmish and I. I thought we sorted it out, the last time I saw her was on her birthday in August.

 In any case, reading Pride and Prejudice at the moment, reignited fascination with Moulin Rouge! And I bought a corset :)
          my dreams of vintage lingerie are slowly - but surely - being realised. It's beautiful, ivory. Goes well with the new quite dark hair colour.

Must wrap painting... must wrap painting... and ACDC ticket... must wrap... must buy wrapping paper actually.

Spent a lot of money on ingredients and costume stuff
And now its not happening.
Fuck it.